It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!



Thursday, June 2, 2011

Is this what the world has become?

Once again, my good karma is coming back to me!  No matter what the circumstance, I always try to do the right thing, even if it does not benefit me or my own, because the right thing is always THE RIGHT THING!  Right now with the knuck fucked and the FXRS not quite ready for road trippin, I was left in a pinch.  I have to get out to California this weekend for both Thy Will Be Done and RIPS Bad Ride and the very last thing on earth that I want to do is arrive in my truck.  Above all else, the last thing I want to do is pay 4 bucks a gallon for gas in a truck that gets 12 miles per gallon.  I mentioned this to my dear friend Daryl, yes, the same Daryl who began our Porn It Forward Program and the very same Daryl that I have written about who loaned me this very same beauty of a bagger to save my sanity and allow me to run the long road and the Slab City Riot last year!  This is one quality human being to say the very least.  It seems that without fail over the last two years or so, each and every single time that I have been jammed up, he has stepped forward and helped when I didn't even think help was possible.  Well once again, he stepped up and said "shit man, I just had it serviced", take the bagger and enjoy yourself!  It is nice when you do good and you get good in return!  In the last decade of my life, I have known very few people like this fine man!  He is truly in a league of his own and I will be forever grateful that he is in our life!

So I will be heading out Friday for California.  I have yet to really even go public with the news and already people have stepped up and offered me places to stay and vehicles if I need one.  I was told that this was just their way of saying thank you for all the good we have done for them and others.  They are giving back and it seems like people like this are few are far between these days.  It also seems that the worse the economy gets these days, the worse human nature gets.  With each passing day, it never ceases to amaze me, the levels people who you believed that you knew or hell man, even loved and trusted will stoop to, to get something for themselves regardless of whose neck they step on to do it!  It breaks my heart and I swear it is making me lose faith in humanity.  I wish people would realize it or believe me when I say that what you put out in to the universe will come back to you, maybe not immediately but it does eventually.

It also seems that each time someone does something really amazing for us, it is followed right up by someone doing something that just cuts me deep down in the soul!  On the flip side of that coin, it seems that each time one of these scumbags does something really truly horrible it is followed up by someone that does something really incredible.  The craziest part is that sometimes the people who do the truly amazing things are virtual strangers to me and my family.  So I ask, how is it that someone you barely even know can do something so good and someone you think you know and trust can do shit that is just so bad?  I guess the more that I try and understand this, the more confused that I get.  There never seems to be a rhyme or reason for it and it seems so petty at times.  To think that people would take a chance and throw away brotherhood or friendship over virtually nothing. 

So I take it quite personally when this happens now more than ever!  At a time when we as human beings should be reaching a hand out to people who need help, the exact opposite is happening.  I will give you an example of just what I am talking about and it just happens to include my dear friend Daryl that I mentioned not only above but so many times in the past.  Here is a guy who turns no one in need away, not in the past when things were good and certainly not now when things are bad for so many.  Another friend came to him and asked, your home is so big and beautiful and your back yard is like a resort, can I have a party at your home?  This seems like an insane question to ask someone don't you think?  What does Daryl do?  He says of course you can!  Not only does he allow his home to be opened up to a great many people he has never met in his life but this crazy bastard got up at 6 am and began cooking 65 lbs. of ribs, carne asada, brats and chicken for the "hosts" guests.  I mean this is one stand up son of a bitch!  He has recently gotten involved with the music business and has already taken his lumps by the "quality" people involved in that and he just moves forward!  So the party is going great, everyone is having a fantastic time and is for damn sure, well fed!  As the party goes on and everyone is having an amazing Memorial Day Party there is no drama to be found.......... well for a while that is.  The host of the party had been contacted by a long lost family member that they had not seen in over a decade.  I've got to tell you that my very first impression of the guy, the very moment that I met him was, this guy don't belong here and he really looks like a scumbag.  It was just written all over his face.  He had an air about him of just being "a piece of shit", you know what I mean?  Well the party is going on and one of the kids from the band puts down his sun glasses and they are like no pair that I have even seen.  You know rock stars and the cool shit they always have.  There must be a rock star store that I just don't know about that these guys shop at!  Anyway, within moments of putting them down, you guessed it, the piece of shit grabs them and puts them right in his pocket!  He has been welcomed in to this home with no questions asked because of the stellar reputation of his relative and now he is caught red handed by the very person that he stole from!  I guess the top quality free food and booze was just not good enough for this piece of shit!  He had to take advantage of kindness and steal from the people that welcomed him in to their home.  Knowing this, that in essence he just stole from my dear friend's home, the guy who put himself and his home on the line to just be a great guy, made me absolutely nuts!  Did it have anything to do with me?  NO!  Did he steal from me?  NO!  Hell, I could have just stood back and let what was about to happen go down.  Then my brain and anger got in the way.  Part of me wanted to bash this fucks head in and maybe once and for all cure him of stealing forever and the other part of my brain thought, if this guy gets beat down here and obviously knowing the piece of shit he is, the cops will be called, arrests will be made and of course it won't be him arrested and you can guarantee that this low life mother fucker would have an attorney within a few hours to sue my friend for everything!  I had a dilemma, get involved or don't?  I HAD NO CHOICE, I HAD TO! 

I am so sick and tired of people hurting people that I care about, my family included that it was in fact quite hard to even control the rage that had built up inside me, but I did!  Family or not to the host and for his own safety he was immediately tossed from the house and let off the hook.  Was it the right thing to do morally?  Probably not!  Was it the smart thing to do?  Damn straight!  In the end, we got the property back and found nothing else in his pockets that he had taken.  I guess he just hadn't had the time to peruse the rest of the house yet!  All of these people in this home, bikers, musicians and every level of "low life" and not one of those people, the ones that would be expected to act this way did anything wrong.  The wannabe gangster who had no part and no right to even be there proved my original gut correct!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?  Who comes in to some one's home, invited and steals from them?  All I knew was that the outcome was going to be that not one bad thing, not fucking one was going to happen to my friend Daryl, it was just unacceptable!  The party continued on and not one other thing was taken!  It goes to show you that when your gut tells you something, listen to it!  There is a reason that we were designed to have these feelings, trust them when you have them.

Times are bad and there are certainly a lot of people who maybe only a short time ago would not do horrific things to people just for their own gain and that saddens me deeply!  So trust your gut always!  No matter what the situation, always do the right thing and it will come back to you for sure, one way or another!  With things the way they are now, keep an eye on the people you care about and watch their backs more than ever and hopefully they will do the very same for you!  It sucks that this is what life has become but if you surround yourself with good people, you, like me, will make it through all of this and better things will be ahead for all of us!  Brother Daryl, again, I can't thank you enough for bailing me out of a jam again, you rule man!

Until we see each other on the road, who knows, maybe California this weekend,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

An absolute must share!

Every now and again I come across something that is so important that it must be shared. As you all know, I live to put smiles on people's faces. Quite simply, it's what I do! I try to find the humorous side of the absolute worst circumstances and believe that laughing at your troubles won't make them go away, but it helps to look at them from a different perspective! Years ago I found myself on the wrong side of an investigation being headed by a completely crooked cop. As I was approached by this scumbag, he came to me as "my buddy". "My God Jack, what happened, this is crazy man, we know that there is no way that you could have done this"! "Tell me what happened so we can let you go and get you out of here". I had never dealt with the Police under such circumstances in my life. I had a horrible concussion and had not slept in days. Human nature makes you want to immediately defend yourself and say "damn straight I didn't do it"! I was so blown away at how backwards they had it that I nearly spoke to them. By the grace of God, my angel of a wife was standing next to me and gave me the look of death! I told the POS crooked bastard that I would go anywhere they wanted me to with no trouble, but I had to give Diane her shot first, she was hours past shot time. Back then, she had to get her shot each and every day. The detective talked to the uniformed cop in whispers. Sure thing man, you get in that car and he will drive you over and your "beautiful wife" can ride over with me. "Okay, thanks man" was my response, "but the car is right over there, we can just walk over"? So they drove me the 50 feet and I sat in the back of the police car for a few minutes until this crooked piece of shit drove over with Diane. When she got out of the car, her face was white as a ghost! I said "no worries baby, this is all a big mistake, we'll get this straightened right out". That sick bastard just tried to hit on me and I overheard him talking to the other guy. It's all bullshit, the guy is a scumbag and although he is pretending that there is a misunderstanding that can just be worked out, they are locking you up! It's already a done deal, they are trying to fuck you, DON'T SAY A WORD TO THEM, NOT ONE WORD! I pretended to take a bit longer to get her shot ready as she continued to tell me more of what this guy had just done and said, I was blown away and stunned to say the very least. Aren't the cops the good guys? They are supposed to uphold the law and innocent people never go to jail right? Now, had I spoken to them, anything, even one word, it would have been used to destroy me! It does not matter if you are innocent when you have a crooked cop who is trying to hang you! Karma is a mother fucker and in the end this cop got what was coming to him. His corrupt world came crashing down upon him thank God! But no matter what I would have said, they would have found a way to use it against me. When they say "anything you say can and will be used against you" that is just what they mean! It doesn't say that if you tell them the truth, it can and will be used to help you, because IT NEVER WILL BE!

SO PLEASE, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, WATCH THIS VIDEO! If you have a teenager or ANYONE else that you care about, make them watch this video. There is a reason that we have these rights and these are the very reasons! Once you make the "massive" mistake of EVER speaking to the police for ANY reason whatsoever, IT WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU! Believe me when I tell you, THERE IS NO JUSTICE, IN THE JUSTICE SYSTEM! Life is not a Television Show!


I hope that you took the time to watch this all the way through or at least long enough to hear the Detective here say that everything this Professor said was absolutely true and this is the last thing the police would ever want people to see. They don't ever want you to know your rights and they certainly never want you to exercise them! Tens of thousands of our husbands, wives, sons and daughters have fought and died to preserve these rights that we have, never take them for granted and remember, THERE IS A REASON THAT WE WERE GRANTED THESE RIGHTS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

PLEASE SHARE THIS VIDEO WITH ANYONE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT, once a mistake is made, there is never any turning back! I hope that this helps even one person. If it does, than it was worth telling you a little bit about what I went through. I don't really ever like to talk about it because it was the single most traumatic experience of my life. Spread this around America because there are so many people who waive their rights and never even know it! THE POLICE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! They are there to close cases and move on to the next one. God forbid you ever find yourself, rightfully or wrongfully accused, this may save you and keep you from ruining your life. WHAT YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU! JUST REMEMBER THAT!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

douches wild:dlmc

After all those history channel specials and Gangland episodes, you thought you knew what a bike gang was all about right? Hardly! Lock up your daughters and lock up your wives because these Douches may be heading to a town near you and then what will you do? IT WILL ALREADY BE TOO LATE! Perhaps some one that you already know may in fact be a Douche and you have no idea? I got to spend some time at the Laughlin River Run with a group of Douches and they sure drew a lot of heat from the law but they never relented in their "Doucheness"! They hung tight together until they were finally forced to split up and meet back up at a pre planned location! It was nerve wracking just having them hanging around! But you know what they say, "ladies love outlaws" and these Douches must get a lot of love!


So consider yourself forewarned, the Douches are coming!

Support your local Douche!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The building of a dream!

Okay, so for my facebook friends, you may remember this. A few weeks ago I told you that a friend of mine was having a rough day and had just made a page for his business. I asked you guys to go and click on the link and hit like and help try and blow his page up a little bit that day to bring a smile on his face. Well you fine folks did it for me and I am so grateful, thank you. The funny thing was that I got messages like, "Jack, I went to the page, but it is virtually blank, what gives"? Well he had only made the page the night before and had not had a chance to load it up with anything. So it is not a new business by any means, just a new page.

The description on you tube for this video talks about the Universe trying to crush someone and this is that someone. Many of you know by now the incredible, odds beating relationship I am so very lucky to share with my beautiful wife. We have beat the odds and have stayed together for a very long time. The crazy part that blows every one's mind is that Diane and I spend virtually every waking moment together and for nearly 25 years! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT WITHOUT WANTING TO KILL EACH OTHER? That is the question I am asked the most. Very few people on earth share a crazy ass relationship like this. Well my Brother F Bomb shared nearly the identical life with his girl as we do. 2 years ago, while running the Stampede Race on her bike across America, she was tragically run down by a tractor trailer in Oklahoma and we lost her. For Brother Bomb, this was like having his soul cut out. Rather than curl up, give up and wither away, he did the only thing that he could and he loved his girl and honored her in death as he did in life and continues to do so till this day.

You would think that after a horrid tragedy like this that people would be decent human beings toward him or that the Universe would say, "hey man, sorry about that shit, but we are going to give you a break now"..... WELL NO, THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! The Universe and the scumbags that he was surrounded by tried to take this moment in his life while he was in mourning and distracted to try and destroy him. The people where he has worked for 24 years tried to fuck him over at work and either take his job or cost him his job. NICE RIGHT? The Universe also continued to pile shit up on his shoulders that I could never imagine trying to carry the weight of, but yet he has done it. So instead of just giving up, taking the cards that he was dealt and playing that hand, he tossed back the cards he didn't like and pulled some new ones and came to us with a dream that he had. Well there was nothing on earth that was going to keep us from doing everything in our power to help get that dream off the ground. Well 80 - 100 hours per week of non stop work and commitment has taken him to the point at which you will see in this video below. So when you guys clicked "like" on that West Valley Choppers link that I posted, this is what you were clicking like for! You clicked "like" on, in essence, my friend and brother's dream. There is no doubt in my mind that he will make this a go and be successful, because for this great man, he has no choice, he will not allow himself to be broken or to fail! He moves forward because that is what his girl Lorri, the QUEEN OF THE STAMPEDE would not only have wanted him to do, she would have kicked his ass for not doing it! I have nothing but love and respect for this man who only after horrible tragedy became so much a part of our lives. So while the Universe is jamming it in to his ass dry and breaking it off, at the same time, it placed us in his path and I guess for a reason. It is a strange life we all live and there are never answers, only questions and we must push forward. When times are tough and I feel like it is hard for me or us to go on, we think of what our dear friend has gone through and he inspires us to keep up the fight! I always say, KEEP YOUR KNUCKLES UP AND YOUR CHIN DOWN and you will never, ever, BE KNOCKED OUT! You may get knocked down, but never out!



He will be off in the next week or so for 21 days of racing and riding around this country and all on hand built bikes that he created. He is one of the guys that runs the Stampede and he is ready to run that again. When he returns, we will help him in any way possible to finish this job and light the fuse on that very dream of his. We are going to stock this building with great products, sick bikes and amazing clothes and art and everyone will be welcome to come on down and join us in a party to kick the whole damn thing off and I am counting on you guys, you fine folks to come down and join us! So remember the name West Valley Choppers because soon enough you will be hearing great things about it! You will be able to remember how it all got "officially" going and in a way, you will be able to look back and say, "shit man, West Valley, I was there the day they kicked in to high gear". As always, thank you so much for your endless support for both my family and the ones that I love, it never, ever goes un noticed and I assure you that it will never be forgotten!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Monday, May 30, 2011

You have got to love this shit!

So it's Memorial Day here in America and for me it's not about the drinking or the bbq'n or any of that other bullshit. I am proud to be American and I am a Patriot to the core. One of the things that blew me away when I moved in to my old house and began the renovations was the people in the neighborhood. It is only 3 blocks long and 2 blocks deep. The homes were all custom built between 1967 and 1970. The thing that truly blew me away once I got to meet the people here was that even with the massive explosion in real estate values, when everyone cashed in and bought big stupid ridiculous homes and left their previous homes, virtually no one in my hood did! Here, there are still 7 original builders that live in here till this day. Of those 7, 5 of their children have purchased homes here. This is the first place that I have seen in 6 years since moving here that I see kids play and ride bikes in the streets with each other. Just like it was when you and I were kids and I thought that was gone forever. There are times that I have walked out of my house only to see a 12 year old boy hiding behind my brick half wall in my planter and my first thought was "are you okay"? Is some pedophile trying to grab you? Where is that mother fucker? "No sir, I'm sorry, we are playing hide and go seek". Really? Are you shitting me? That is so awesome, here, hide over it here, it is in the shadows, no one can see you over there! Brother Adam was here as we were unloading the truck from the move when no bullshit, at least 30 kids came running across my front yard and jumping my fence and we thought it was a gang fight! Nope, it was a full neighborhood game of chase! I WAS STUNNED to say the very least. Not only is it the kids, but the parents that blow me away. I live in a neighborhood of patriots and people who still believe in and love this country and never forget those who have fought and died for it! Check this out!




What is even cooler is, although I am a biker and at any given time there are Harleys and choppers parked all over my property. On the front lawn, sidewalks and driveway and no one looks down their nose at us! In my tiny little 3 x 2 piece of paradise, the amount of kick ass cars and bikes has to beat all the odds on number of people living in an area and number of people with sick rides! I am going to go and introduce myself to many of them in the weeks that follow and document and shoot the amazing rides that are right here in my little 3 block long neighborhood and believe me when I tell you, you are going to be blown away!

Until we see each other on the road, God bless the American Soldier, God bless America and each and every single time you see a soldier thank them and ladies, you know what you have to do, yeup, Jack Shit's own personal version of Pay It Forward. Not Porn It Forward like I spoke of earlier, that is an entirely different program. But, then again, if you happen to have a Playboy in your car or truck, what the hell, pass it along to a soldier!

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Do this and you can change the world! No Bullshit!

You folks have come to know me now as being nothing but brutally honest and for having strong values when it comes to things like friendship, brotherhood, love, patriotism and Paying It Forward.  A great many of you will remember my "show a soldier your titties" program, that for the record is still going strong!  If you don't know about that, I'll give you a quick recap.  About two years ago while on stage one night doing stand up, I put out the idea to all my female audience members that each and every time that they see a soldier, no matter where they see them, to just stop them, say excuse me and just flash their tits to a soldier.  I thought it was the least that could be done to say "thank you for your service" and sure enough, soon after, I began getting messages and a photo now and again.  God bless our soldiers and are Patriotic American Women!  The women were instructed to say "this is from Jack Shit and he thanks you"!  Every once in a while I bring it up if the circumstances are right and remind our patriots to take care of a soldier.  Once a woman asked, what if it is a female soldier?  I thought about that and didn't know the answer so I asked a few female soldiers.  The answer I got made me laugh so hard that I will never forget it!  Overwhelmingly, the answer was, "we've had to look at so many nasty ass, long nipple hair having Arab titties or blown up titties that it would not upset us to see a good ol' American titty"!  I was blown away!  Once again, God Bless The American Soldier!

So what the hell is with the pic at the top you ask?  Well this is another program that I truly believe can save the world.  Just like Pay it forward, making the world a better place, I believe my PORN IT FORWARD program is just as vital in so many aspects.  Every two months or so, a dear friend of mine, I've written about him before, Daryl, comes to my house and drops me off a big bag of Porn.  Hence the beginning of PORN IT FORWARD and I peruse them and then pass it along or PORN IT FORWARD.  Most of the time that I look at it I am sitting on the shitter and as a matter of fact, just the fantastic dumps that it helps to expedite is worth being involved in the program!  Also being involved in PORN IN FORWARD helps me to keep up on conspiracy theories too.  I learn most of what I know about government conspiracies from Hustler and I learned how not to dress from Playboy.  For the "GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE" folks and the tree huggers, think about how PORN IT FORWARD makes people buy less mags, so less mags are printed and we are now saving trees and the planet.  Do you see where I am going with this?  So now my chain leads to Brother Adam and last night, I gave him a bag that had about 40 lbs. of good ol' American Porn!  I informed him that he must not break the chain and now that he has been PORNED, he too must PORN IT FORWARD!  He told me immediately that he already has several people in mind for the program and that he too will make them aware of how PORNING IT FORWARD works and they must follow the rules.

Make the world a better place and take your old Porn mags and pass them on to a friend.  You just never know the "joy" it could bring them or the knowledge that you may share with them.  Hell, it could change their life just as the article on the Government altering the weather and creating earthquakes from radio waves in Alaska has done for mine.  As a matter of fact, while at the BMR just two weeks ago while sitting around a camp fire, Milwaukee Mike brought up this very topic and because someone took the time to PORN IT FORWARD to me, I was well informed on the subject and appeared to be quite intelligent!  THANK YOU PORN!

So get on the program and PORN IT FORWARD, it will change not only your life for the better but so many others as well!

So until we see each other on the road, do the right thing and PORN IT FORWARD!

DO YOU PORN IT FORWARD ALREADY?  LET ME KNOW!

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit